- Task Achievement:
- The revised report provides a clear and accurate summary of the main trends for all four companies, including specific data points and trends.
- Key comparisons, such as between Apple’s volatility and Google’s stability, as well as the contrasting trends of Facebook and Yahoo, are clearly outlined.
- Cohesion & Coherence:
- The structure is improved, with logical paragraphing that groups Apple and Facebook together, followed by Yahoo and Google. Each paragraph focuses on two companies for clearer comparisons.
- Cohesive devices, such as “In contrast,” “However,” and “Meanwhile,” are used appropriately to link ideas and clarify the relationships between the trends.
- Lexical Resource:
- Vocabulary is more precise and varied. Phrases such as “fluctuated significantly,” “consistently rose,” “surged dramatically,” and “remained stable” replace vague expressions like “changed” and “grow up.”
- More formal and appropriate vocabulary is used, and terms like “value” and “range” are replaced with “stock price” or “valuation” for better precision.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy:
- The revised report corrects all major grammatical errors, including tense consistency and subject-verb agreement (e.g., “Facebook’s stock price steadily increased”).
- Sentence structures are more varied, with compound and complex sentences used appropriately, improving the grammatical range without introducing errors.