Analysis of the Task – Band 9

What follows is a detailed analysis of the task and why each of the Task Achievement, Cohesion & Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy received a band score of 9.

Here is a detailed analysis of why this sample response achieves a Band 9 for Task Achievement, Cohesion & Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy based on the information previously shared:

Task Achievement (Band 9)

Strengths:

  • Clear and accurate response to the task: The response clearly addresses the prompt by summarizing and reporting the main trends in the stock prices of the four companies over the given period (2011-2016). Key features such as Facebook’s steady increase, Yahoo’s decrease, Apple’s fluctuations, and Google’s stability are well-identified.
  • Effective overview: The overview section accurately captures the general trends of the data, summarizing the key patterns without including specific data, as recommended. The candidate identifies that Facebook’s stock increased, Yahoo’s decreased, Apple’s fluctuated, and Google’s remained stable — exactly what a Band 9 overview should do.
  • Relevant comparisons: The response includes relevant comparisons, such as comparing Facebook’s and Yahoo’s stock prices in terms of growth and decline, and contrasting them with Apple’s volatile changes and Google’s stability.
  • Specific details in body paragraphs: The candidate appropriately reports specific data in the body paragraphs while avoiding unnecessary details. For example, exact values such as “7,500” and “20,000” for Facebook, “35,000” and “7,000” for Apple, and “1,000” for Google are accurately presented.

Overall, the candidate effectively selects, organizes, and reports the key features, making this a high-scoring response for Task Achievement.

Cohesion & Coherence (Band 9)

Strengths:

  • Logical structure: The response follows a clear and logical structure. It starts with an introduction that paraphrases the task prompt, followed by a well-structured overview, and then detailed body paragraphs that describe the trends for each company in a systematic manner.
  • Progression of ideas: The ideas progress logically throughout the response, moving from an overall summary of the trends to specific details for each company. Each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, maintaining coherence and avoiding confusion.
  • Use of cohesive devices: The candidate uses a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly. Phrases like “while,” “in contrast,” “in 2011,” and “before plummeting” help to compare and contrast the stock performances and sequence events clearly.
  • Effective paragraphing: Each main feature (e.g., Facebook’s steady increase, Yahoo’s decrease, Apple’s fluctuations) is described in its own paragraph, which contributes to a well-organized and cohesive response.

The clear logical flow, proper paragraphing, and effective use of linking devices ensure that the response meets the highest standards for Cohesion & Coherence.

Lexical Resource (Band 9)

Strengths:

  • Wide range of vocabulary: The candidate demonstrates a broad lexical range by using a variety of vocabulary to describe changes in stock prices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using “increase” and “decrease,” the candidate uses synonyms such as “steadily increased,” “devalued,” “plummeting,” and “recovered slightly.”
  • Precise and appropriate word choice: The vocabulary is precise and appropriate for the context. Terms like “peak,” “plummeting,” “recovered,” and “valuation” accurately reflect the trends being described and are used correctly in context.
  • Avoidance of repetition: The candidate successfully avoids repetitive language by varying word choices and sentence structures. For example, the word “stock” is sometimes replaced by “shares” or “valuation,” and different verbs are used to describe changes in stock prices.
  • Topic-specific vocabulary: The use of topic-specific terms like “stock market valuation,” “devalued,” and “recovered” enhances the lexical range and demonstrates the candidate’s ability to use precise vocabulary relevant to financial and stock market data.

The precise, varied, and appropriate use of vocabulary supports a high score for Lexical Resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy (Band 9)

Strengths:

  • Variety of sentence structures: The response shows a wide range of grammatical structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. Examples include simple sentences like “Google’s shares remained at around 1,000 for the entire period” and complex ones like “Facebook started the period with a stock market valuation of approximately 7,500 and this consistently moved up in value year on year.”
  • Accurate use of complex grammar: Complex structures such as relative clauses (“Apple stock was valued at just below 5,000 in 2011, and this jumped dramatically”) and conjunctions (“while Yahoo’s decreased,” “before plummeting to around 7,000”) are used accurately throughout the response.
  • Consistent grammatical accuracy: There are no grammatical errors in the response. The verb tenses are correctly applied to describe past events, and there is no misuse of subject-verb agreement, punctuation, or sentence fragments.
  • Use of passive voice: The response also demonstrates control of the passive voice where necessary, such as “Facebook started the period with a stock market valuation.”

The wide variety of accurate grammatical structures ensures the response achieves a high score for Grammatical Range & Accuracy.

In conclusion, this response effectively meets all the criteria for a Band 9 score in Task Achievement, Cohesion & Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy. The candidate’s ability to summarize the key features, organize the information coherently, use a broad range of vocabulary, and apply complex grammatical structures with accuracy sets it apart as a top-level response.